Guillermo.

I've been asked to write about my first crush,Guillermo.

For me,he is The One.The way he look at me,the way he talk to me.He make me breathless.He is the one who makes me what I am,right now.But I'm just a white crayon in a box in his heart.Not more than that.

I still remember the way he looked at me.I was speechless.I still remember he's the one asking me to watch theatre at Peschierra Borromeo,I was 11 years old in that time.But I thought it's me and him,but there's another girl,Alessandra Stephano,that makes me one of his sight.

In 1997 I left Milan with my broken heart.No hug and kisses,no goodbye.The One that I've expected,become No One.Since then I realizes "hope is for the losers".And I stop to hope.

For me,he is so special,in that time.Wherever he is right now,he's already gone.He already become my No One.

No one knews about how much I felt about him except Elly.Every night before I go to sleep,I'm open my windows so wide so I can see Guillermo.But sometimes when he waves at me,I'm off to the moon--excited!Even Elly's laughs at me,sometimes.

Aril?He is a jackass.When he was in Milan he never be with us.He always with his friend,his Irish friend Bernie Finns.Every now and then he will be with his friend watching Calcio.Sometimes at restaurant,if he got money he went to San Siro.But Bernie will forever be at Manchester United,that's what he told us.And until one day,I heard Guillermo is a Nerazurri--an Inter fan.To be frank I was rooted to Inter before eventually change to Celtic.I change my alligience to Celtic because of dissapointment to Guillermo.

But now,he is my No One.I don't give a damn about him right now.But of course,when you was a kid your love was sincere.I felt like stupid wearing scarfs at San Siro watching Calcio just because Guillermo is a big fan of Inter,and I don't even know what is offside in that time.But it's love who change you for who you are.

I still remember my pillow talks with Elly."What if you find new Guillermo when we're in Malaysia?"

I just shaking my head,disagree.

"There's only one Guillermo",I was saying that before Elly's chuckles on me.hik hik!,it was her trademark.I never thought eight years later I'm jerking on her because of "new Guillermo".I miss Elly.She was my everything.For everything I've done right now,I dedicate to her.And because her love towards "new Guillermo" makes my life in thunder,shocked and fear,I never thought her life will be ended in misery way.

If only "new Guillermo" was honest with Elly at the first place,I rather go and wither away.If only he's not using Elly as weapon to kill me,I wouldn't mind.I know he can write poems,a song or even a short story before both of us go to bed,sometimes I laughed myself that I fall in love and sharing with my own sister.No one could ever write a song like he did,no one.I and Elly can say that.I guess both of us will agree on that.

But everyone seems to leave me.Guillermo leaves me,Elly leaves me,"new Guillermo" leaves me.I'm just a nightingale--waiting for someone to be adored.Que sera sera whatever will be,will be.

From the streets of Segrate,streets of Jalan Bukit Bintang--Guillermo will always there for me.Vecchio del nuovo,ancora amo Guillermo.

But now as the history faded away,so does myself going forward to future.Guillermo,both of them were part of my history.Move on,and cheer your life!C'est la vie after all..hik hik!