Like Florentino Perez take over Real Madrid from Ramon Calderon,I have my major plan to overhaul him.
The construction is no later than now.So start to accept new administration now.hik hik!
This time,I'll doing it for Elly.
Thanks for oppurtunity to redeem my mistakes. :)
A story that he wrote to me,and it always be a bedtime story for me before I sleep.I believe it's the same story he told Elly,as I found in her diary.Below of this story,it was Elly replied for his story.I just copy back from her diary.
x------------------------x
Once upon a time,there's a princess who lives in a huge castle,her father is a great great king of Sandoba.Everyday,she stares out at her window,looking a meaning of life to be a person.She failed.Everyday her father told her it is important to get more resources of prosperity of Sandoba.She was thinking,perhaps gold and silver can make people happy.
She went at the market,and give a pauper a dime of gold.The pauper smiled and cheering and singing going home.Yes,gold and silver can make people happy.But why she got so many gold and silver,yet still not happy?Why her father got abundance of gold but still not satisfy with his gold?
She didn't understand.Is that meaning of life is to get as much gold and silver?And why gold and silver is something people crazy over it?Something to work over it?Why people cheat,kill or deceive for gold and silver?Is that meaning of life?
One day she walk again to the same market,and the same pauper ask him for a dime of gold.She give it,and once again the pauper become so happy and cheerful.She realizes that this is the meaning of life.Gold and silver.No mistakes.
The third time she walk again to market and once again he found the same pauper sat on the street.This time he was so sad,and crying.She give the pauper a dime of gold.Still not happy.Another dime of gold,he does not even stares at it.
"Are you become more greedy now?Last time I gave you a dime of gold and you're happy,now I give you two dimes of gold and you're not even look at it?"
The pauper answered,"so,why are you giving me gold every time you come here?"
She then replied,"because gold and silver are always make people happy.Look at you,everytime I give you gold you become more happier and cheerful.But now,you become greed,you just like my father.He got mountains of gold but he is still not satisfied for what he gets!"
"If gold and silver are always make people happy,why aren't you happy?Are you saying you're greed,too?" the pauper responded from the princess.
"I don't know!I don't know what's a meaning of life."
"Let me tell you something,my princess.Today I lost my cat,my only friend.I don't have friend except my cat.Every time you gave me a dime of gold I can buy food so that we can share together.Now,it's meaningless,no matter how much you gave me gold or silver,I couldn't share with anyone!"
"So,you can find another cat.Or perhaps a bird,or a monkey.Anything.You can share your gold that I gave to you,so you're not sad again".
The pauper smiles,"what if I don't be here again?And you're losing a person to share your gold?Perhaps I'm nothing inside your eyes,so that's why you never bother on me.But not my cat.We share almost everything.In a coldness we share heat together.In hunger we share our food together.That's a meaning of life!The life of togetherness!Not because your gold or silver.If one day gold and silver are not valid for food,what else do you have?"
The princess replied,"not even gold or silver can't buy food?What do you mean?"
"When gold or silver,cannot buy everything we need,we got love.To share.To take care for.Togetherness.That's more important above all.Do you see the farmer loves their crops,or how passionate fishermen goes to the sea?The passion to share,to love.Gold and silver are second.The important thing is to share.That's a meaning of life.Otherwise,they'll be just like your father.Too many things but so many love and care."
The princess just be quiet and listens to the pauper.
"So,if I'm not here,then does your life completed?"
The princess replied,"I'm lonely.Because everyday I just want to see someone like you to be happy.And if you're not around,my heart will be restless."
"Then you're already know the meaning of life."
The princess walk away as thinking what the pauper told her.And the next day,she's coming to the pauper,not with gold but with a cat.The same cat as the pauper always be together while begging.
The begger cries.He wouldn't expect he will see his cat again.He become so happy and cheerful once again.The princess were told about meaning of life by a pauper on the street.
x-----------------------x
The now,the pauper was lost in his world.He became jaded,and slowly he don't know who can he share,his feelings,his emotion,his everything.Why everyone nowadays don't know the meaning of life?What makes people to ignore each other?
The world is too small for him.I wish I can take him to a place were ignorance to care and love are prohibited.To the place where everyone take care of each other.
But it's just three-fold utopian dream.How sad.How I wish he's not a human but a cat.Where at least cat knows better about meaning of life than humans.
Se tu fossi nei miei occhi per un giorno
Vedresti la bellezza che piena d'allegria
Io trovo dentro gli occhi tuoi
E nearo se magia o lealta
Se tu fossi nel mio cuore per un giorno
Potreste avere un'idea
Di cio che sento io
Quando m'abbracci forte a te
E petto a petto,noi
Respiriamo insieme
Protagoniste del tuo amor
Non so se sia magia
O lealta
Se tu fossi nella mia anima un giorno
Sapresti cosa sono in me
Che m'innamorai
Da quell'istante insieme a te
E cio che provo e
Solamente amore
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If you were in my eyes,for one day
Would you see the beauty of the joy
I'm inside your eyes,
And it's close to magic and loyalty
If you're in my heart,for one day
You'll got the reason for how I feel
When we're hug together,
Chest by chest
We breathe together
Your current love
Does not know the magic
or loyalty
If you're in my soul,for one day
You'll know what inside me
That I fall in love from the moment I'm with you
And what I feel
Only love
Some might say,falling in love is kitsch.Everyone expected love to bring happiness to you.But love are not suppose to be according what you want.It's not about to get married or to be happily ever after,it's no such thing as that.And if you call this a bondage porn,it depends for who are you really are.For someone who love "easy come,easy go",go ahead.But I'm not like that.
If love is a life,flirting is cheap,sacrifice is expensive.
I've been asked to write about my first crush,Guillermo.
For me,he is The One.The way he look at me,the way he talk to me.He make me breathless.He is the one who makes me what I am,right now.But I'm just a white crayon in a box in his heart.Not more than that.
I still remember the way he looked at me.I was speechless.I still remember he's the one asking me to watch theatre at Peschierra Borromeo,I was 11 years old in that time.But I thought it's me and him,but there's another girl,Alessandra Stephano,that makes me one of his sight.
In 1997 I left Milan with my broken heart.No hug and kisses,no goodbye.The One that I've expected,become No One.Since then I realizes "hope is for the losers".And I stop to hope.
For me,he is so special,in that time.Wherever he is right now,he's already gone.He already become my No One.
No one knews about how much I felt about him except Elly.Every night before I go to sleep,I'm open my windows so wide so I can see Guillermo.But sometimes when he waves at me,I'm off to the moon--excited!Even Elly's laughs at me,sometimes.
Aril?He is a jackass.When he was in Milan he never be with us.He always with his friend,his Irish friend Bernie Finns.Every now and then he will be with his friend watching Calcio.Sometimes at restaurant,if he got money he went to San Siro.But Bernie will forever be at Manchester United,that's what he told us.And until one day,I heard Guillermo is a Nerazurri--an Inter fan.To be frank I was rooted to Inter before eventually change to Celtic.I change my alligience to Celtic because of dissapointment to Guillermo.
But now,he is my No One.I don't give a damn about him right now.But of course,when you was a kid your love was sincere.I felt like stupid wearing scarfs at San Siro watching Calcio just because Guillermo is a big fan of Inter,and I don't even know what is offside in that time.But it's love who change you for who you are.
I still remember my pillow talks with Elly."What if you find new Guillermo when we're in Malaysia?"
I just shaking my head,disagree.
"There's only one Guillermo",I was saying that before Elly's chuckles on me.hik hik!,it was her trademark.I never thought eight years later I'm jerking on her because of "new Guillermo".I miss Elly.She was my everything.For everything I've done right now,I dedicate to her.And because her love towards "new Guillermo" makes my life in thunder,shocked and fear,I never thought her life will be ended in misery way.
If only "new Guillermo" was honest with Elly at the first place,I rather go and wither away.If only he's not using Elly as weapon to kill me,I wouldn't mind.I know he can write poems,a song or even a short story before both of us go to bed,sometimes I laughed myself that I fall in love and sharing with my own sister.No one could ever write a song like he did,no one.I and Elly can say that.I guess both of us will agree on that.
But everyone seems to leave me.Guillermo leaves me,Elly leaves me,"new Guillermo" leaves me.I'm just a nightingale--waiting for someone to be adored.Que sera sera whatever will be,will be.
From the streets of Segrate,streets of Jalan Bukit Bintang--Guillermo will always there for me.Vecchio del nuovo,ancora amo Guillermo.
But now as the history faded away,so does myself going forward to future.Guillermo,both of them were part of my history.Move on,and cheer your life!C'est la vie after all..hik hik!
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